I was best friends with a guy for nearly 6 years. We met when we were both young and we both loved each other. We still do love each other, just not in that way. For years we were both too awkward and shy to admit that we liked each other. We were so similar and in sync, and then one day we weren't. I grew more outspoken and self-confident, and now I like standing up for what I think is right. He became even more shy and sort of self consumed. And because of this new found confidence I confessed how I felt for him, and he told me he felt it back. But when I wanted to go on dates with him, he kept changing his mind and couldn't decide whether or not he should do it. He wan't to preserve our friendship but then he also wanted to move forward. We tried dating and it didn't work out. And then we got in a few fights. He got way too friendly with my sister for comfort. I went through some emotional turmoil. So we're still friends, and I do love him, as a friend. But he also makes me so angry a lot of the time.
Long story short, I have no idea why I liked such a stuck up, selfish guy, even though he really is a good person, but now I see we're completely incompatible. But I do still believe in love and that one day I'll fined it.
Platonic and good familial bond based love is for everyone, the romantic form of love is finicky, tricky, and those who know what they want when it comes to that aspect of love and finding somebody... It makes it even harder and for some of us it may not exist in this life, but in another life should there be one for each of us...
It's a pretty fickle thing... and (more often than not) hard to find sometimes. It just comes whenever it pleases.
I've been alone for quite a while, isolated by family drama and then need to work almost ceaselessly just to keep my head above water. It has left very little room for finding love in my life. My only hope is that it somehow stumbles across me as I'm flailing along, and then latches on and doesn't let go.
Unfortunately, women around me are either too practical or not practical enough. They judge too quickly. I know I may not be all that dependable - I forget about things and life absolutely loves to blindside me. But I'm the sort of person that, even if he is running late and a bit short on cash because the bank decided to post a bill three days before it posts his paycheck... I'd be there for her, no matter what it took.